But at the same time as she drew me in, what she was, the way she had lived her life, made me pull back in horror. I knew that my very strict upbringing had a lot to do with my reactions, I hadn’t completely freed myself from my father’s influence it seemed. It made me really angry at myself, that I couldn’t separate the essence of a person, the being, from the life choices that person had made, the doing. The constant measuring of people’s true values was just too exhausting… I looked at my wristwatch and realized it was soon time to meet her again, the woman who sent my thoughts spinning and brought my emotions up, down and up again. I could feel tension growing in my shoulder and neck area just thinking about meeting her once more. I stood up and moved my arms around to remove some of that tension, with a quick promise to myself, to make an appointment at the nearby massage parlor as soon as possible. I literally jumped when I heard a terrible crashing, screaming, metal grinding. Kevin's mental health was far more important than my secret. I needed to include him into my circle, but I had to be very cautious about how I explained it. If I presented it to him carefully, I could make him a confidante; if I embarrassed him, he'd resent me forever, and there was no telling where that might go.I felt a little demonstration was in order. I said, "Kevin, look at me!"He raised his eyes.I asked, "Do you see me talking to you?"He nodded.I slid into his mind. "Do you see me talking to you, now?"His eyes went wide, then he shook his head 'no'. In his mind, he went, Holy fuck! I was right!Back to verbal speech, I asked, "Am I the only person you've ever heard in your mind?" Yeah. Well, sometimes, I think I know what someone is thinking before they say it, but I think everybody does that, don't they?" Yes, pretty much everybody can make a pretty good guess at what someone else is thinking under the right circumstances, but some people are much better at it than others. I.
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